{"id":22,"date":"2009-03-31T12:32:34","date_gmt":"2009-03-31T16:32:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/?p=22"},"modified":"2009-03-31T12:51:50","modified_gmt":"2009-03-31T16:51:50","slug":"moses-is-departing-egypt-a-facebook-haggadah","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/2009\/03\/31\/moses-is-departing-egypt-a-facebook-haggadah\/","title":{"rendered":"Moses is Departing Egypt: A Facebook Haggadah"},"content":{"rendered":"

From\u00a0http:\/\/9a4440c5.fb.joyent.us\/haggadah\/ultraModern2.php\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

(Hat Tip: Elan)<\/em><\/p>\n

The Passover Seder, the oldest continuously observed religious ceremony in the world, tells the story of the Jews’ Exodus from Egypt.\u00a0 Jewish tradition says that people of each generation must imagine that they personally had departed from Egypt, and the sages say that each generation must tell the story in its own terms.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

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The sages probably did not intend this.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Joseph<\/strong><\/span> is going to Egypt.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\n\"\" Joseph<\/strong><\/span> and Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> are now friends.<\/span><\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Elijah<\/strong><\/span> is a bit tipsy, but off to a good start. 30,000 households down, and its only 6:30!<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> is sad to report that my father has entered immortality. I have taken his place in government and will do my best to honor his name.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Joseph<\/strong><\/span> Congratulations to you, my master.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> Who are you, and why are you writing on my wall?<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Joseph<\/strong><\/span> I meant no disrepsect, my master.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Advisor<\/strong><\/span> He is an Israelite. There are many of them. I do not know whether they are with us or against us.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> Let us deal shrewdly with them, lest they join with our enemies in time of war.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Rabbi Eleazar ben Azaryah<\/strong><\/span> finally figured out why we’re supposed to tell the story of the exodus at night. It’s because it says “all the days of your life!”<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Ben Zoma<\/strong><\/span> Huh?<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Rabbi Eleazar ben Azaryah<\/strong><\/span> You see “Days of your life” means days only, but “ALL the days of your life” means nights, too.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Ben Zoma<\/strong><\/span> Oh, I always thought that referred to after the coming of the Messiah.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> sent The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> Bread of Affliction.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> This stuff tastes awful.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> This year are we slaves, next year may we be free!<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n25 things you didn’t know about me by God<\/strong><\/span>
\n<\/span>1. Guilty pleasure: Smiting people.
\n<\/span>2. I had another universe once, it was so much better than this one. But I got really wasted one night and lost it in a game of craps. \ud83d\ude41 I’m never doing that again.
\n<\/span>3. In my old universe, the really cool one, the dominant species was a race of hyper-intelligent beetles. It was so cool. Unfortunately, when I lost that universe I also lost the beetles-as-master-race patent, so now I have to settle for primates.
\n<\/span>4. I picked up this universe at a 50%-off sale. I thought I was getting a bargain. But as soon as I took it out of the box at home, I figured out why: space and time are both a bit bent in places, and most of the mass is missing. I wish I had saved the receipt.
\n<\/span> More<\/strong><\/span>
\n<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> has taken the Which god are you?<\/strong><\/span> quiz. Pharaoh is Ra, the Sun god. Ra represents light, warmth and growth.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\" <\/a><\/td>\n The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> has used Yes We Conserve <\/a> to pledge to Seal and caulk air outlets<\/a>. <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> We might as well use extra straw to keep out the hot desert air.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> has posted an Album: Construction of Python and Ramses.<\/span>
\n\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\"\"\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\"\"\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> I’m the 432nd slave from the right!<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Bernie Madoff<\/strong><\/span> The pyramid scheme is a good concept, but you need to think bigger.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Elijah<\/strong><\/span> is feeling very harried. 3 million houses left, and it’s already 7:30!<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Hillel<\/strong><\/span> sent You<\/strong><\/span> sandwich.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Youngest son<\/strong><\/span> Why is this night different from all other nights?<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Parent<\/strong><\/span> What do you mean?<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Youngest son<\/strong><\/span> Well, there’s the drink-four-times thing, and the matzah thing, and the dip in salt-water thing. What’s up with that?<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on God’s<\/strong><\/span> Wall: We’re suffering!\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Rabbi Yehoshua<\/strong><\/span> Had a few too many at dinner and spent the whole night at Akiva’s arguing about the Exodus.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Rabbi Tarfon<\/strong><\/span> My head hurts.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on The Israelites’<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Yeah, I see. Listen, sit tight, and I’ll think of something.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Moses<\/strong><\/span> has taken the Which god are you?<\/strong><\/span> quiz. Moses is Osiris, God of the Dead. Dressed in white flannel gown, Osiris ruled over the Egyptians and taught them farming.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> Note to self: This is getting really annoying. I have got to add a Commandment outlawing this stupid Which God Are You Quiz. I think I’ll word it broadly so that no one can possibly misunderstand my intentions, and I’ll put it right up front where they can’t possibly miss it.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on Moses’<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Moses, stop wasting time and do something about this whole slavery thing.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\" <\/a><\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> has used Yes We Conserve <\/a> to pledge to Use dryer less<\/a>. <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> This is a no brainer, as I live in a desert. Also, dryers haven’t been invented yet.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Moses<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on God’s<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Er, me?\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> sent Moses<\/strong><\/span> burning bush.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on Moses’<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Yeah, you.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Moses<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on Pharaoh’s<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Let my people go!\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Mark Zuckerberg<\/strong><\/span> You see? It’s all about the social graph. Israel talks to God talks to Moses talks to Pharaoh. There must be some way to make money off of this.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> Aren’t you the CEO of Facebook? Listen, the old version was so much better. Tell your engineers to bring it back.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Mark Zuckerberg<\/strong><\/span> Actually, I’d like to stick with the new one for now.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> I’m sick of seeing all these quizzes! I command you to bring back the old one!<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Mark Zuckerberg<\/strong><\/span> is fleeing to Tarshish.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on Moses’<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Up yours!\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\"\" Mark Zuckerberg<\/strong><\/span> and a whale<\/strong><\/span> are now friends.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

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\"\" <\/a><\/td>\n Moses<\/strong><\/span> has used Yes We Conserve <\/a> to pledge to Use trees to control sun and shade<\/a>. <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Moses<\/strong><\/span> Back in my day job as a shepherd (which I still hope to return to some day), a few strategically planted trees made all the difference in the world on a hot day.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Elijah<\/strong><\/span> is sloshed<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> sent Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> a plague: blood.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Advisor<\/strong><\/span> No big deal. Our magicians can do that, too.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> OK. Whatever.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on God’s<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Nice try. I’m not impressed. The Israelites stay.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> sent Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> 9 more plagues.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Advisor<\/strong><\/span> Uh-oh. These are the fingers of God!<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> OK, I give. 10 plagues is enough.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Rabbi Jose The Galilean<\/strong><\/span> Which means that when God later smote them at the Red Sea with his hand, they got 50 plagues.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Rabbi Eliezer<\/strong><\/span> No, I think it means 200, since each plague was sent with fierceness of his anger, wrath, and indignation, and trouble.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Rabbi Akiva<\/strong><\/span> Dude, you missed a comma. Fierceness was its own plague. So that’s five plagues per finger, or a total of 250 plagues.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> Will you guys stop running up the score?! You already won! Just stop!<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on The Israelites’<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Get out of here!\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Moses<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on The Israelites’<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Quickly, people! Just grab everything and go!\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> But what about the bread? We’re in the middle of this great recipe.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Moses<\/strong><\/span> Just grab what you can and go! Now!<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> has posted an Album: Fleeing from the Egyptians.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Elijah<\/strong><\/span> 100 times as many houses to visit, and presents to lug around, too. How does Santa do it?<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Santa Claus<\/strong><\/span> We young folks have all the energy! \ud83d\ude42 <\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\" <\/a><\/td>\n Elijah<\/strong><\/span> has used Yes We Conserve <\/a> to pledge to Power chariot by magic horses instead of internal combustion engine<\/a>. <\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on Moses’<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Um, there’s a lot of water in front of us, and a bunch of angry Egyptians behind us. Any ideas?\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Moses<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on God’s<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Er, over to you. Any ideas?\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on Moses’<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Stretch out thy rod over the waters.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Moses<\/strong><\/span> is crossing the Red Sea.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> has posted an Album: Fishes of the deep.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> has written a note on The Israelites’<\/strong><\/span> Wall: Now I’ve got you right where I want you!!\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 See See Wall to Wall<\/strong><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> is very wet<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n Elijah<\/strong><\/span> is just about ready to call it a night. This gets harder every year.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\"\" Pharaoh<\/strong><\/span> and Satan<\/strong><\/span> are now friends.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\" <\/a><\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> has used Yes We Conserve <\/a> to pledge to Run sun on nuclear fusion instead of natural gas<\/a>. <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> This way, I can save enough energy to prevent the Earth from.. oh wait, never mind.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> sent The Israelites<\/strong><\/span> a Torah.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<\/col>\n<\/col>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/tbody>\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\n God<\/strong><\/span> Just so you know, the one I wrote for the hyper-intelligent beetles was so much cooler. I miss them. Sigh.<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Here endeth the Seder.<\/span><\/p>\n

This year our ceremony still contains some time for reflection, and some ability to remain on the same topic for more than a minute or two.\u00a0 But next year, may our ceremony be faster, divided into bite-sized chunks, and with each utterance no more than 140 characters.\u00a0 And so we say together,<\/span><\/p>\n

NEXT YEAR IN TWITTER<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From\u00a0http:\/\/9a4440c5.fb.joyent.us\/haggadah\/ultraModern2.php\u00a0 (Hat Tip: Elan) The Passover Seder, the oldest continuously observed religious ceremony in the world, tells the story of the Jews’ Exodus from Egypt.\u00a0 Jewish tradition says that people of each generation must imagine that they personally had departed from Egypt, and the sages say that each generation must tell the story in its […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-passover"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26,"href":"https:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22\/revisions\/26"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dovweinstock.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}